My concept of the Office Neighborhood is simple. Growing up, many of us lived in busy neighborhoods. Parents were more likely to be at home and kids ran more freely than today. Adults were either at work or at home with a clear boundary between. (That is, they weren’t at home working on a laptop or having conference calls via cellphone.) At any rate, work had its place and for many, home and the neighbood were where the significant relationships and personal connections were.

Fast forward to today, where technology and the global workplace have allowed the “workplace” to expand into the far reaches of our personal lives. Choosing to go on a vacation without the cellphone, blackberry or laptop is a major statement about individual freedom in some work circles. Children are used to mom and dad checking in and out of the family circle to check email, answer calls or just do their own “homework” from work.  We may or may not bring more of our home and family life into the workplace but it is undoubtably easier to slip out for a soccer game if you can still be accessible on your cell phone the whole time.

A natural consequence of this more permeable boundary is that work relationships and sense of belonging in the work environment become more important. My neighbors at home are great but I am more likely to wave to them from my car than I am to have coffee with them or discuss last night’s episode of “The Office”. 

I usually bring up this concept in the context of trainings that relate to work relationships – making good ones or healing bad ones. The workplace takes up so much of our time that the people and relationships there can be just as significant in our lives.  It’s not that we’ll be changing our wills to include the guy in the next cubicle. But it does recognize that those relationships – especially if there are problems – can be hugely influential to our lives and our sense of well-being.

Hence the Office Neighborhood – where we have friends and acquantances, celebrations, life events, conflicts and competitions.
I’ve lived in some interesting ones. How about you?

 Greetings,
So this is the innaugural blog entry - ta da!!

Where to begin? This is supposed to be about the “office neighborhood” but just for today I’m thinking more about our work “families”.  You know, “My office is just like a family – maybe a dysfunctional family- but still a family”, that kind of thing.  This comes to mind because I’ve been thinking about holidays in the office. Just as family holiday gatherings are the stage on which family dramas play out, so are organization gatherings and celebrations.  They tend to focus more intensely on relationships and issues that can be ignored or put aside for the rest of the year.

So that’s something to examine closely. I think I have experienced both ends of the holiday party continuum – ranging from a party that rivaled my own family celebrations for good cheer and good times to a few that I would cheerfully have skipped.

(Note – if you have an office party tale to tell, please spill it!! Whether heartwarming or chilling, we can all be inspired or feel your pain. Just hit “comment” at the end of this posting)

Here is the WAM (World According to Me) on office parties – the good, the bad and the avoidable. There are three categories of players on this stage. First are the organization itself and the top people. Second are all the employees with history – anyone who’s been around long enough to remember at least one earlier party and therefore knows “how we do it here”.  Finally, there are the newbies – waiting to see what it’s like and compare it to past experience. 
 
For the top people and anyone concerned about the organization overall:

1. These events do make a difference for better or worse so it’s worth the effort to get it right or at least avoid doing harm.
2. You probably consider the party a benefit or gift to your employees. They may consider it an obligation or work responsibility. You can’t control what they think but you can control what the event is like and possibly how they will remember it and think about it in the future.
3. If you want it to be a gift to them – IT CAN’T BE MANDATORY.  People hate mandatory things – even good things. It has to be something that people WANT to do for it to be a gift. Creating that desire can be a challenge. Be patient. Changing culture takes time.
4. If you want it to be mandatory for everyone to attend, that’s legitimate too but it’s hard to legislate a good time. If it’s mandatory, and you want people to be glad they attended (for the right reasons) you will have to try extra hard to please or at least not annoy anyone.  And you should be prepared for many or all to leave at the earliest allowable end time of the event.
5. If it’s mandatory, you may want to avoid serving alcohol to protect the organization’s liability.
6. Whether mandatory or optional, be clear about the fact that the party is a work event. The same conduct requirements apply as for a regular day at the office. Any sorts of harassment or inappropriate behavior are still wrong.
7. If alcohol is to be served it should be in a controlled manner, with food served as well. People who are openly drunk should not continue to be served or be allowed to drive away, etc. Even if the party is off-site and optional, it is still considered the workplace if it is an organization - sanctioned event. Understand your responsibilites and liabilities as an employer.

For the employees with history

1. We’ll start with the bottom line: You should attend the party unless you are planning to exit the organization very soon and don’t care about burning your bridges behind you. You should go, be friendly and polite to all, and not be among the first to leave if people are leaving early. You don’t have to have a good time but try to be neutral or better. It’s for your own good.
2. If there is gift-giving or a grab-bag, play it safe. Nice gender-neutral gifts within the appropriate expense range (find out what that is) are best.  If gag gifts are the tradition, be careful! This is not the time to showcase your cutting wit. In these settings, people will be smart enough to laugh when they are the butt of someone’s joke but that doesn’t mean they liked it, or the giver. Think “humorous” and find something that would be fun to get but doesn’t poke fun. This is not a time where it’s good to stand out. Trust me or proceed at your own risk.
3. Understand that the party is still the workplace even if held off-site. It is an official organization-sanctioned event and the same conduct requirements apply as for a regular day at the office. Any sort of harassment or inappropriate behavior is still wrong.
4. Watch your alcohol consumption both for obvious (driving home) and more subtle reasons.  Alcohol makes things that wouldn’t normally appeal to you start to look really great. This includes people, food, activities such as disco dancing or rapping when you don’t know how; not to mention suddenly feeling comfortable about sharing with vice presidents how they could do a much better job running the place – with your help.
5. Resist comparing this party to prior parties unless it is for the better; and then only if none of last year’s party planners or providers are around.
6. By schmoozing with co-workers you don’t see day to day, you develop and strengthen relationships and build your network of people who think you are good to have around. Use the party as an opportunity to build that kind of “social capital”.

For the newbies

1.  Everything about employees with history applies to you. Also keep in mind that if you are very new, the party may be your first opportunity to meet people and make a great first impression. You would do well to think of it as a professional opportunity rather than an opportunity to kick  back and par-tee!

For everyone:

As with family holidays, we tend to lay a lot of expectations and bring a lot of personal baggage to these annual events. If the office is in turmoil, if you are unhappy with your current status or having conflict with bosses or coworkers – all these things can affect your ability and desire to be part of the event. Even if you are a very happy camper, there are likely others who are not for a variety of reasons. In all cases, your best bet is to treat the holiday party like a work event. Plan to behave professionally and pleasantly; expect to participate and converse with people you may not see that often and use it as an opportunity to network and build social capital by getting to know people on a more personal level.

Cheers and happy holidays!!